Barney in Concert 1991 Aired on PBS March 9, 1997
Sam: And so time passes. Christmas comes and goes on schedule, and soon that is April. * (Flashback) * (In the springtime, an entire flock of fawns are seen playing around and giggling) * Sam's Voice: That's where all the new fawns come out with their folks to meet the other new fawns and to be inspected by Santa. * (During the time, Rudolph and his parents have arrived, as his father speaks to him) * Donner: Now, don't worry about your nose, son. Just get out there and do your stuff. Remember, you're my little buck. * (Then Rudolph sighs as he walks over to where the other fawns are. Then a young fawn comes up to Rudolph, grinning) * Fawn: Hi, my name's Fireball. What's yours? * Rudolph: Rudolph. * Fireball (Fawn): C'mon, you can be my buddy. * Rudolph: Where ARE we going? * Fireball: To the reindeer games. Makes antlers grow, besides, it's a great fashion to show off in front of the does, c'mon. * (Rudolph grins at what his new friend just said, feeling a little acceptance at last) * (End of Flashback) * Sam: (grins) Ah, youth. Meanwhile, the elves are bustling with activity. Christmas is over, but they yet keep busy with lessons in elf improvement. * (Flashback) * (Inside the workshop, the Head Elf shouts out to everyone in attention) * Head Elf: Call out for elf practice! * (All of the elves chatter as they get all assembled. The chattering stops as they all stand in attention. During this time, Santa and Mrs. Claus are sitting in two big chairs in the room, though the man looks puzzled) * Santa: (sighs) Well, let's just get this over with. * (The man looks at his pocket watch, before returning his attention to the elves) * Santa: I have to go down and look over the new deer. * (Then the Head Elf starts speaking in a much calmer tone, grinning a bit. Then surprisingly, his voice sounds different and a bit nasally) * Head Elf: (nasally voice) Alright, Santa. (to the elves) Now let's try out the new elf song I wrote, and remember, it's for Santa. * (Then he picks up a baton as he gets ready to conduct) * Head Elf: And a-1 uh, and a-2 uh and a-3 uh. * (Then all the elves in the room start singing) * Elves: (birds sing) Ho ho ho, ho ho ho, we are Santa's elves. We are Santa's elves, filling Santa's shelves. With a toy for each girl and boy, oh, we are Santa's elves. * Thin Elf: (sings) We work hard all day. * (Then, a fat elf shoves the thin one, as he sings his part, though the thin one is annoyed) * Fat Elf: (singing) Oh, but our work is play. * (The thin one, annoyed, hits the other elf's hat with a doll, as they continue) * Other Elves: (singing) Doll we try out, see if they cry out we are Santa's elves. We've a special job each year. * (Then, a tall elf comes up, singing his part) * Tall Elf: (singing) We don't like to brag. * Elves: (singing) Christmas Eve, we always fill Santa's bag. * (As the head elf continues concluding, he turns back to Santa, though looks a bit hesitantly. During this time, Santa looks rather bored by the performance) * Elves: (singing) Santa knows who's good do the facts you should. And we bet you, he won't forget you we are Santa's elves. * (Mrs. Claus, however, seems to be enjoying their performance, as she waves two of her fingers to the song. During an instrumental part of the song, the Head Elf notices that Napoleon is trying to blow a big tuba, yet he isn't having any luck. The elf comes up to him, but then the dog blows one more time, letting out a big blow, sending the elf flying and hitting a drum another elf is playing) * (The elf gets up, though he is irritated. He recovers, dusting himself off, and calms down before continuing conducting. At one point, he waves his baton around rapidly, until he incidentally drops it. He notices as he grins sheepishly. He picks up the baton and continues, as the elves sing once more) * Elves: (singing) We've a special job each year. * (Then, the tall elf, who pushes his road through two of the elves, sing their part again, though annoying them in the progress) * Tall Elf: (singing) We don't like to brag. * (The tall elf yelps as the annoyed elves use the ladder of a toy firetruck to knock him into a bag, as they continue) * Elves: (singing) Christmas Eve, we always fill Santa's bag. * (As the song is coming to its finish, two elves sing, though the feather on one elf's hat unknowingly pokes the other elf's eye twice) * Elves: (singing) Santa knows who's good do the facts you should. And we bet you, he won't forget you we are Santa's elves. * (The elf gets a pair of scissors, and cuts the pointy tip of the feather off, as he and the other elves finish up) * Elves: (singing) Ho ho ho, ho ho ho. We are Santa's elves, ho ho! * (After the song is done, Mrs. Claus happily claps her hands, all while Santa moans a bit) * Santa: Huh, well, it needs work. I have to go. * (Santa gets up, grabbing a winter coat, as he walks out the door. Then, Mrs. Claus frowns a bit) * Mrs. Claus: What does Papa know? (to the Head Elf) He's beautiful. You keep it just the fashion that is. * (Then she walks out, calling out to the man) * Mrs. Claus: Papa? Papa! * (The door closes, before the Head Elf turns to a fat elf, speaking in his normal voice) * Head Elf: (moans/normal voice) That sounded horrible! The tenor section was weak! * Fat Elf: It wasn't our fault, boss. Hermey didn't show up. * Head Elf: (in frustration) WHAT?! * (Meanwhile, in a room, a familiar dentist elf seems to be ready to tap a doll's teeth with a hammer) * Hermey: Now, this won't hurt a bit. * (He starts tapping the teeth lightly, until Head Elf locks open the door, as he shouts) * Head Elf: Why weren't you at elf practice?! * (He walks up to the hesitant dentist elf, who is surprised) * Hermey: Just fixing these dolls' teeth. * Head Elf: (shocked) Just fixing?! Now listen, we have dolls that weep, speak, walk, blink and run a temperature! We don't need any chewing dolls! * Hermey: I just thought I'd found a fashion to fit in. * Head Elf: (frustratedly) You'll never fit in! * (Hermey hangs his head in shame, as the Head Elf comes up to the door) * Head Elf: Now you come to elf practice and learn how to wiggle your ears and chuckle warmly and go "hee hee" and "ho ho" and reluctant stuff like that! A dentist, good grief! * (Then he locks the door shut in frustration, causing a picture frame to fall. Hermey only sighs mournfully, but then he realizes something) * Hermey: No. I just can't. It's like he said, I'll never fit in. * (Then he pulls out a suitcase, and put some stuff in it, including his dentistry book. Then, he closes it before pushing up a stepladder near a window. He grabs his suitcase, and walks up the ladder, opening the window as he extends one leg out the window) * Hermey: (sighs) I-I guess I'm on my own now.